December 1, 2022

So she blew you off, did she? Ouch. That has to sting just a little bit! We know, we know. You were probably really excited to see her. Especially if this is a first date. And now you are sitting here wondering why she flaked on you and what the heck you can do about it! What is the right thing to say in this situation? How do you go about approaching someone who just totally gave you the cold shoulder when the two of you obviously had plans. She seems flakey and you want to give her a piece of your mind about it. Yet you’re not sure just how to do that. What is the right thing to say? Well, we will get to that! But first we have a few other things to go over before you say anything to her at all! Keep reading to find out just what those things are and then find out what you can say to someone who flakes on you.

Dealing with girls who flake

Think Before You Speak

Yes, you are probably feeling kind of hurt right now. Your ego might be a little bruised, because you are not used to someone just blowing you off. You might even be angry at her for doing this to you. You had the perfect date planned out, got your best clothes on and you were ready to impress! But last minute she tells you that she can’t make it. Whether it’s because she ‘got called into work’ or her ‘cat is sick’. Or maybe she just didn’t say anything and never showed up at all. Whatever the reason, you might be feeling totally disappointment and upset. It’s understandable to have these feelings. But what isn’t understandable is lashing out at her because you are feeling this way. So it’s important to think before you speak. Give yourself some time to calm down before approaching her about this matter. Once you have had some time to chill out, you can then proceed to say what you need to say.

Let Her Know How You Feel

But it is crucial to let her know how you feel without being a total ass about it. Keep the tone of the situation light. Tell her that you are truly bummed that she flaked out on your date. That you were really looking forward to getting to spend time with her. And that her not showing up or cancelling was incredibly disappointing. You want to get some empathy out of her at this point. So she understands that her actions have consequences. That she isn’t just hurting herself by blowing you off, she’s hurting you and that’s not cool.

What's your response to a flake

Ask Her Why

So she may have given you an excuse, but it is totally okay to ask her for the truth. You can say something along the lines of, “I know you said your cat was sick, but is that really why you cancelled last minute? You can be honest with me, I won’t get mad.”

Then she might feel obligated to tell you the truth. Therefore you will be able to find out if she really wanted to go or not and if you should go for a second chance or not.

She may stick with her original excuse and if she does, you will have to take that as the truth!

Try To Reschedule (If You Want)

It is solely up to you whether or not you want to try to reschedule your date. You will have to prepare yourself for her to bail again, though and that can be tough to go through twice. So make sure that trying again is something you truly want.

Ask her to go a second time and then follow these rules to prevent flaking again:

  • Set a date that you know she will be available for. Make sure she has double checked her calendar. Try ensuring that it is not too far in the future. That leaves less room for things to change in her calendar!
  • Let her pick the times for the date! Letting her pick the time will help to guarantee she will be available. She knows her schedule better than you do!
  • Text her right before (as in a couple hours) to make sure that everything is still going according to schedule.
  • Make sure you pick somewhere she knows how to get to. That way her phone doesn’t die trying to figure out where the heck she’s going.
  • Offer to pick her up at her place. This will mean you will be there to grab her so she can’t get lost or change her mind!

We know getting flaked on sucks, but it’s important to remember that it’s not the end of the world and it can be salvaged! So keep your chin up and keep trying, buddy, you got this!

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