Not sure what those glances, smiles and looks from a girl you fancy might mean? Hoping you have a secret admirer? Follow these steps to find out if the girl you have your heart set on really likes you.
1. Be bold and initiate a short chat. This will help you to learn those little things that will come in handy later because everyone loves learning that someone has listened to them… and remembered the small things. Listen carefully and attentively to the things she tells you so that you can store these away for future reference. And as you’re chatting, notice if she gives away any signs of fancying you too; watch for signs, special words and large hints.
All girls are different, so be aware of the signs. Listen to the tone of her voice. If she’s shy, the tone of her voice might be a little softer than normal, and she might start to play with her hair (smoothing it down, twirling, flipping), adjusting her clothes, and might stare at you.
Another sign that she likes you is if she laughs at your boring or stupid joke. (Beware though! Don’t use bad jokes as a test, or you’ll risk looking like a comedy dork.)
She may not be able to look you straight in the eye and she might giggle a lot because she is worried about giving too much away.
Check for the smile. A girl that’s interested in you will usually immediately smile when you start a conversation with her. The smile may disappear quickly if she’s shy, but it’s hard to hide an unexpected strong emotion. If she’s not interested (that doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you, but she likely doesn’t have a crush on you or romantic desire), she’ll likely look at you inquisitively, but she won’t express any particular strong emotion.
2Watch for signs of flirting. If she’s flirting, she may be difficult to read. Gregarious girls may flirt with guys who they consider to be just friends, and for the uninitiated, this general interaction can sometimes be misconstrued as a crush, so get to know the girl’s general style around guys before making assumptions.
Be aware that some girls have no idea that they’re flirting. In this case, she probably likes you a great deal, since her subconscious is letting her body language do most of the talking.
Most girls don’t like to be obvious. With a girl who doesn’t mind openly flirting, try to see if she flirts with you a little bit more than with others.
If a girl says “awwww” after you do something, it is also a sign that she is trying to flirt with you. She may do this after you cough, trip, or say something cute.
If you fancy a girl, never make the mistake of “flirting around”. If she sees you putting your arm around another girl or sees another girl hugging you, she may simply assume she doesn’t mean anything to you and will stop trying.
3. Check for random hugs, reserved mostly for you. Hugs can be a very openly and permissible affectionate way of getting closer to you and touching you without it necessarily compromising her stealthy flirting. In turn, you can go along with it if you want, or just act busy like you’re late for an appointment and need to rush off.
4. Take notice if she “accidentally” bumps into you more often than what you’d consider the usual. This ploy is ancient and tried and true, as it’s a way of touching you subtly and sizing up how responsive (and perhaps even how well toned) you are. If she finds excuses to touch you a lot, then you’re probably on the right track. Act casual when she bumps into you and say “no worries” or something similar. As for touching your arm and hair in a casual but rather meaningful way, there’s really no need to say anything; just lap it up graciously.
Not all girls will feel comfortable reaching out using touch. In this case, don’t assume that she doesn’t like you because she doesn’t try to touch you. She may be too nervous to touch you yet. Don’t be shy––break the touch barrier yourself.
She may also find other reasons to touch you, such as by lightly hitting you about the head, or soft punching to the body. These “one-of-the-mates” moves can be a thinly disguised way of getting closer to you without it being too evident to your friends and hers.
5. Observe the way in which she looks at you. If she likes you, she will tend to either hold her gaze on you for a long time or pull away immediately the moment your eyes make contact with hers. Either of these responses could mean that she likes you. If she pulls away quickly, it often means she is nervous or not ready to reveal her true intentions yet, but she still likes you. And if she holds the stare, and you believe you see responsiveness or even love in her eyes, then she is confident and she may make the first move.
Of course, some girls might just be staring or winding you up, so don’t think she loves you and wants to get in touch with the real, inner you. Use the context to discern the motive.
If you happen to glance at the girl and you see her staring back at you, then this means that she likes you, although she may quickly dart her head in a different direction.
6. Look at her friends. If you see most of her friends glancing back at you and smiling or giggling, this probably means that she has told her friends about you and they’re “in the know”. This can happen at any age, although mature girls and women friends tend to behave in a slightly more circumspect way, using glances and knowing smiles or nods instead of giggles. In some cases, a friend may actually be bold enough to come and tell you that her friend likes you.
When she is having a conversation with her friends, and you come over, she might stop talking all of a sudden. This likely means that you were the subject of the recently ended conversation.
If she likes you and she told her friends about you, they might come up to you and start a random conversation about things such as: Who would you rather date me or (her name), who do you like better, who is the hottest, would you marry (her name) or me, etc. If they name a list of about three people and her name is in the list, she probably told her friends about you and they’re trying to search for clues to see how you feel about her.
In teen years, if her friends are loud and immature, you’ll most likely hear “(your name), (her name) likes you!”
Do be aware that her friends might be making it up just to tease her. Listen for things like: “Stop teasing me!” or “Be quiet! He might hear!”
7. Look out for moments where you can play “rescuing the damsel in distress”. If you’re outside and the girl you like is nearby and starts loudly saying “I’m cold!”, that’s a subtle hint that she wants you to give her your sweater. This is a very sweet gesture, especially if you want to show the girl that you like her. And sometimes a girl will pretend to be really bad at doing something, and say that she can’t do it. That is your chance to offer some assistance; be aware that she will most likely be doing this on purpose just to see your reaction and hope that you will help out.
When offering assistance, if there are other guys around and she actually likes one of those guys, she might be disappointed when you offer your coat to her first or offer your assistance. In this case, at least you’ll know how she feels and can move on. You might even be magnanimous enough to tell the right guy that she fancies him.
8. Smile at her. Girls tend to like guys who smile, and are happy. Use your natural smile; you don’t want to freak her out. If she smiles back politely, or frowns and looks away, she may be uncomfortable or disinterested. If she returns a soft or big smile and continues to look at you, then it’s likely that she’s interested. However she reacts, it cannot hurt to keep smiling her way. Eventually she’ll get the message that you find her charming and she may feel able to open up more or at least to tell you openly that she’s either interested or not.
If she smiles then darts over to the crowd of her friends and hides in the group, then she may be nervous and curious about whether you know that she likes you.
9. Watch her body language. You can learn a lot about a girl by observing her body language and it goes well beyond obvious flirting signs into unconscious signals of attraction. There are a lot of signs that will tell you she’s interested. For example, if a girl has her torso turned towards you in an open manner, this means that she is confident talking with you. If she has a closed body position, namely crossed arms or legs, she may be shy or nervous to talk to you or she may simply be creating a barrier to ward you off. Invest in a decent book on body language to help you learn how to accurately read her.
Watch for subtle signs in the girl’s face––if her eyes are dilating, then she may really like you.
When you are both in a room– if she sits diagonally from you or across from you at the room,when she’s interested, her torso is facing you in an open manner, or her shoulders and hips are facing you. Either of these signs may mean she likes you. When she is sitting and she has her legs crossed, watch her feet, if its pointed towards you, it might mean that she likes you and wants to get closer to you.
Look at her lips. If she touches them constantly or bites them, she’s probably very interested in you. If her lip quivers slightly when you look at her, you can almost be sure she likes you.
10. Notice the little things she does for you. If she’s always there for you when you need help, even like when you mention that you’re really thirsty and she quickly offers you a sip from her drink, she might like you. But don’t assume that she’s into you only from one experience. Ask her occasionally for small things, like chewing gum or a pen, and notice how she reacts. If she’s always ready to offer you something you might need, go further and ask her to help you with something else, like a school, college or work problem. It shouldn’t be something really easy to solve, but not too difficult either, as some girls might say that they don’t know how to help you with a more challenging problem. If she’s eager to help you, she probably likes you, although if you use this approach too much or choose tasks that seem too difficult, she may think you’re lazy, testing her or even a bit of a nuisance. Don’t overdo it; you don’t want to risk her ceasing to like you.
11. If you decide that she does appear to like you, confirm it by having the courage to go and talk to her. Many girls feel too shy or nervous about what your reaction might be to start a conversation with romantic undertones. Even if she seems like the most confident girl you know, she may have had a bad experience in the past or simply not be ready to approach you yet but will be receptive if you start the conversation first. For more ideas, see How to ask a girl out.
12. Finally, but importantly, avoid over-analyzing her behavior. Doing so may result in your becoming obsessed with simply “winning her over”, rather than getting to know her as a person. Rather than investing tons of time in determining whether or not she likes you, just take opportunities every now and then to spend time with her and her friends (not excessively though, or you may appear to have no social life of your own). Basically, get to know her as a person first and foremost and maybe things can go from there later––starting off as a friend gives you a chance to connect on a more real level. Just make sure to make your intentions relatively clear (via subtle flirting), or else you may become permanently “friend-zoned”.