November 27, 2022

We might feel a little more brave behind our computer screens and keyboards, but it doesn’t always mean that we have the confidence to do just anything. Like approaching a girl, especially a pretty one, that you don’t know on Facebook. Just because you are not talking to her one on one doesn’t make it any less scary, does it!? We think not… Otherwise you wouldn’t be here reaching out for help. But that is exactly what we are here to do… Help! And, since you’re approaching her online, the rules are just a tad bit different than they would be when you are approaching someone in real life. Things are handled in a different manner. The way you communicate is totally different! So just because you are a pro at going up to girls in person doesn’t necessarily mean that you will be a champ doing in through Facebook Messenger. So how do you go about approaching a girl that you have never met, nor do you know at all, on an app like Facebook? Well, you have certainly come to the right place. Because we have a few simple steps that you can follow to accomplish this task, stress free!

how to message a girl on facebook you don't know

How To Do It

Creep Her Page

Before you even think about sparking up a conversation, you might want to put on your detective cap and take a peek at her Facebook page. Why? Because this is going to help you find things to talk about when you finally do strike up a convo. You want to see if you can find any common interests to talk about or something you saw that was cool. Like if she recently went sky-diving or spent a week in Germany. Or maybe you saw that she is wearing a band tee with your favorite band on it. This is a great way to start a conversation with her, but you want to be careful. Don’t dig too deep into her profile. Going too far back and using something from then as an ice breaker might come off as a little creepy. Especially if you two have not been friends on Facebook for that long. You want to use something that is more recent. That way it doesn’t look like you’ve been sitting and thrifting through her page for hours… Even if you have. She doesn’t need to know that!

Build Your Self Esteem

Talking to a girl you don’t know can really wear on your nerves. So, to keep yourself from totally stressing out, try to build up your self esteem as much as you possibly can. Doing this will help you flow with your conversation more and keep you from getting too down if things go badly in the end. Like if she leaves you on read or something. You don’t want to let that get you too far down! Yes, there is a chance of total rejection here. It’s so much easier to blow someone off over the internet than it is in person. So prepare as much as you can for this to go either way!

How to Chat with a Girl on Facebook

Like Some Of Her Posts/Pictures

Before starting a conversation, go ahead and go like some of her posts and pictures. Of course, you don’t want to like a bunch all at one time. Let it happen throughout a couple of days or even a week. But be sure to only like or react to things that you actually have interest in. That way if they come up in the future, you don’t have to lie about liking that stuff. Popping up in her notifications will get her used to seeing your name and give her a feeling of familiarity when you do finally start talking. It will also show her that you are share common interests before you ever actually have a chance to bring them up!

Find A Common Interest

We mentioned common interests a few times before, but now is the time when you really need to know what they are. Because the next step is finally popping into her DMs! Keep those common interests in mind as you go into this. Especially for if conversation gets dull. You won’t it to completely fall flat. Therefore you should have these interests to fall back on.

Drop Your Open Line (Dos and Don’ts)

Your opening line is going to be the most important thing in this whole proccess. What you say is crucial! So what are some opening line dos and don’ts?


Be polite. Being rude will never get you anywhere, with anyone, especially when it’s your first impression.

Be friendly. Even if you consider yourself a cynical and sarcastic person, you don’t want to let that show. You will just come off as hostile and unapproachable.

Make her laugh. Dropping a joke is never a bad idea. As long as the joke is lighthearted and doesn’t throw anyone under the bus… Including her.


Be creepy. Sure you might think it’s a good idea to hit on her and say something totally sexual right away. But we are telling you that it is most definitely not a great idea and you should refrain from acting on that impulse as much as you possibly can. It’s a good way to get left on read.

Make it all about you. Don’t start off the conversation by sounding too self involved. She’ll say next.

Send something gross. The internet is full of weird, random and downright disgusting videos/pictures. Don’t send those. She might not be into it.

How to Pick up Girls on Facebook

Wait Until She Responds

This is going to be hard, we know, but you must resist double texting her.  Even if she appears active online after you have sent the message. You want to give her time to respond. Continuing to try to talk to her, even though she hasn’t responded, may only annoy her. It could even bring her to block you or throw you in her other folder where she doesn’t have to deal with you constantly popping up.

Focus On Her

When she does respond, you will want to focus the conversation on her. This will make her feel like you actually want to get to know her! She will be more inclined to respond when the questions or topics revolve around her.

Don’t Post On Her Wall

At least not yet. You  don’t know her that well and she doesn’t know you either. Therefore she might not want you spamming her wall for everyone to see. People may get the wrong idea and that might make her uneasy.

Be Patient

She might not spend 24 hours a day online. So be patient if she doesn’t respond quickly. Getting mad at her for not responding will only push her away!

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