A good marriage involves love, communication, fun and a healthy dose of sexy times to help it survive the kid years. You may be surprised and maybe even a little turned on by how these 12 moms (names changed to protect the daring) keep things fresh in the bedroom … or kitchen … or back seat of the car…
“Having a baby has kept our sex life fresh. Honestly, there was so much pressure making him that now I feel like we can just enjoy it … when we have time to do it that is!” — Jules, married for five years, one baby
Who Says Toys Are Only for Kids?
“What keeps our sex life fresh? Always trying new things and not being afraid to explore. Going together to pick out a toy, or a book of dirty stories we read to each other. Lately, what’s kept it fresh is my pregnant body, which for some reason my h
usband is REALLY in to.” — Regan, married eight years, one child and one on the way
How Do You Wrap a Threesome?
“Toys have definitely livened things up. Honestly, though, what has helped a lot is letting go of a lot of the hang-ups I had about what “good girls” do or don’t do and owning my sexuality and not feeling guilty about what I like or what turns me on. I’ll admit to watching porn sometimes too, if I need to get into the mood. Husband doesn’t really know, but I’m working up the nerve to ask for a threesome for my 40th birthday!” — Leah, married 17 years, three kids
In the Club
“After a rough delivery with my second child, we didn’t have sex for EIGHT MONTHS. Eight. Months. No sleep plus no sex plus two kids resulted in our marriage being in a rocky place so we decided to jump start our sex life again by doing the most dramatic thing we could think of: We went to a swingers club.
It ended up being very much not our thing but the ride home, where we laughed and debriefed and gossiped about the other couples there, was awesome.
Now we’ll go to a strip club once or twice a year if things start feeling boring but the only swinging going on here is in the backyard playset.” — Connie, married 12 years, two kids
In Praise of the Quickie
“Since having kids, we’ve given up on romance in favor of quickies. We used to love the long, drawn out, tons of foreplay kinds of sex but we just don’t have the time or energy for that anymore. So now we’ve kind of gone for quantity over quality. I would say that now 50 percent of our sex happens outside of our bed, usually in the kitchen or laundry room while the kids are watching TV.
Someday I might like to have more romance again but for now quick and dirty works for us!” — Megan, married seven years, two kids
Stealing Alone Time
“Okay, let me be real here. I am totally in love with my baby but having a kid totally put a strain on our marriage. Our sex life sucked, we were always crabby with each other, I was nursing and tired … it was a rough first year. We finally had a big blow-up fight and the “D” word was used, which was the butt kicking we needed to start working on EVERYTHING, including sex.
One of the things that we’ve done is make sure that we spend at least 10 minutes a day just hanging out with each other or taking a walk or snuggling. No kiddo, no phones, no television. Once we started trying to enjoy each other’s company outside of bed, our sex life started getting better to.” — Sarah, married three years, one child
If the Minivan is Rocking…
“This might sound kind of crazy, but we’ve fixed our date night problem! We are lucky that my parents will babysit twice a month so we can have a date night, which is great, but there was a time where there was a lot of tension in the date night because my husband was wonder/hoping the whole time if we’d end up having sex at the end of the night.
So, we decided that we would start each date night with sex. It turns out that if we start with sex, the rest of the date night is more fun and relaxed and sometimes results in end of the night sex too. It has also led to us getting sexy in the back of our van before we head out to the dinner and a movie, which feels fun and sneaky.” — Mary Ann, married 11 years, two kids
Smile for the Camera
“My husband travels a lot for work, so I have gotten over my shyness and have embraced getting sexy on the web cam after the kids go to bed. I’ll put on some sexy underwear or do a little striptease … knowing he likes to watch is a turn on!” — Alice, married 12 years, one child
“We took a sensual massage class for couples and it has add some more intimacy in our marriage. We aim to give each other at least one massage a week and I would say that it results in sex about 90 percent of the time (once you are already naked it is easy for one thing to lead to another!). The other 10 percent results in me passed out asleep, snoring and drooling on the pillow … also sexy, I’m sure!” — Kayla, married 15 years
In Praise of the Booty
“My best girlfriends were shocked when I spilled the beans at our last happy hour that my husband and I have started getting into, well, anal. Our sex life was fine but stale when he confessed he’d always wanted to try it and I got over my nerves one night, tried it and found that I liked it.
Now we do butt stuff for both of us and even have a special rear only toy that vibrates, which he loves. It is still kind of special occasion sex but doing something taboo once or twice a month keeps things fresh.” — Jamie, married 9 years, two kids
“We were in a rut after having our twins, so we decided to try to spice things up in all of the usual ways: toys, date nights, sexy lingerie, etc. Well, we discovered that handcuffs make me panic, lace makes me itch, date nights are a pain to arrange without reliable babysitters and neither of us likes anything battery operate in bed.
But the cool thing is that trying all of these things and hating them still brought us closer together. We laughed together and the fact that we were both willing to try new things made us both feel more comfortable with each other. It turns out we are pretty vanilla and that is okay!” — Carla, married 18 years, two children
“He is a sexy spy and I am a mild-mannered government employee with a secret. I won’t reveal the secret … until he ties me up, that is!
Role play is sometimes silly, sometimes sexy, but always keeps things fresh for us!” — Arlene, married 10 years, one child