Trees range from gigantic redwoods to small, bush-like plants. They can be found nearly anywhere in the world and are responsible for a lot of the oxygen we have on earth. Whether you work with trees or just love tree puns, these tree puns are designed for you. Use these as inspiration to make your own jokes and have fun with them.
1. What happens when you mix an angry cat and a lemon tree? You get a sour puss.
2. Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
3. How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
4. Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
5. What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
6. What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
7. Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
8. Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
9. What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
10. What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
11. How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
12. How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
13 . How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
14. Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
15. What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
16. What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
17. What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
18. What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
19. What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
20. What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
21. Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
22. What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
23. Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
24. Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
25. Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
26. Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
27. What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
28. Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
29. What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
30. Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
31. What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
32. What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
33. What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
34. Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
35. What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
36. What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
37. Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
38. Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
39. Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
40. Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
41. Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
42. Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
43. What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
44. What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
45. What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
46. What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
47. What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
48. What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
49. Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
50. Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
51. What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
52. What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
53. What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
54. What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
55. How do you get down from a tree? You can’t because down comes from ducks.
56. Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
57. What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
58. Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
59. Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
60. Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
61. What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree Rex.
62. Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
63. What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
64. What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
65. Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
66. Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
67. What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
68. What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
69. Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
70. Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
71. Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
72. What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
73. What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
74. Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
75. What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
76. Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
77. Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
78. Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
79. Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
80. Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
81. Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
82. Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
83. Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
84. How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
85. Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
86. Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
87. Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
88. What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
89. Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
90. Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
91. What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
92. Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
93. What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
94. Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
95. What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
96. Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
97. What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
98. What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
99. Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
100. Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
101. Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
102. Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.